Friday, December 10, 2010

He says... She says...

Official Version:
A brief summary of the incident:
Student A had just finished attending a rather hard class where he was repeatedly subjected to pointed questioning by the Math teacher involved, regarding a differential equation that was displayed on the board and that he could not solve. It is surmised that the events so reported left him feeling humiliated in front of his classmates and that he was harboring a certain amount of resentment towards authority figures in general when he began his walk to the cafeteria after the above mentioned class ended.
Teacher B, meanwhile, had just finished a cigarette on the balcony of the staff room located on the same floor as the cafeteria to which student A was headed, and was on her way to the gymnasium on the ground floor for a previously arranged appointment with the gym instructor when the events alluded to in the hearing at the principal's office so transpired.
After recording the statements of eye-witnesses present in the lobby and on the walkway leading to the cafeteria at the time, and after interviewing both student A and teacher B, it is concluded that at 1310 hours on ___,  Dec 2010, student A brushed past teacher B who was walking past him without acknowledging him, and attempted to pat her around her rump area after she had passed him on the walkway. Teacher B then stopped, turned around and looked back at the figure of student A continuing to walk toward the cafeteria without turning around to look at her, before reporting the incident to the principal at 1320 hours on ___, Dec 2010 in a recorded statement.

Alternate Media version:
Meanwhile, from eye-witnesses whose statements were not recorded at the hearing and who also happened to be present in the corridor at the same time the incident between A and B was alleged to have taken place:
'Did you see what just happened?'
'Yeah, I can't believe it!?'
'She does look pretty hot, though, no?'
'Fucking hell, dude... She always looks hot. Wouldn't mind getting me some of that puntang meself, if I had half-a-chance.'
'Shhh... Look, she looks like she's gonna start crying...'
'Nah... She's gonna get mad about this and get back at him hard, you wait and see...'

Moral of the story:
Everyone wants the goss, and Julian Assange is only the man with the hidden microphone.

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